I've been thinking about something a lot lately. And I'm wondering what every one's thoughts/feelings/opinions are on the subject.
Almost 3 years ago I had a miscarriage. I was only 7 weeks pregnant when it happened and after doing an ultrasound, the doc said the blastocyte probably never made it past 3 weeks, even though I didn't start bleeding until 7 weeks. Which means it may have never been considered an embryo. For a long time after that miscarriage my thoughts were mostly occupied by questions of whether or not that baby was considered, in a spiritual sense, one of my children. Although I only new I was pregnant for 1 week before the miscarriage happened, I felt very connected and attached to that little clump of cells. It was my baby, something I had been looking forward to my entire life.
As far as I know, there isn't a whole lot of Doctrine on exactly when a spirit enters a body and what happens with miscarried babies. I was reassured by many people, and non-gospel doctrine books, that I will have the chance to raise that child in the next life, regardless of how early it was miscarried. And the thought of that got me through most days. It took another year for us to get pregnant again. Since the day I found out I was pregnant with Morgan I have wondered if she is the same spirit that would have come to us had I carried our first baby. Or if she has an older brother/sister with whom she was with before she was sent to us.
I know this is not of great importance, that all things will be revealed in their own due time. Its not something I dwell on, its not something that brings me sadness anymore, its just something I'm curious about. Especially this month, as the child would be turning 2 years old. I have faith that our Father in Heaven has a plan and that our experience of loss was part of that plan. I felt comforted during that time and still do. I know that either way, whether Morgan is that same spirit or there is another spirit waiting for us in heaven, that child is where he/she is supposed to be.
I'm just awfully curious what others think about the topic. So leave me your thoughts and feelings. Don't worry about being offensive. If you think that baby was just a lump of tissue with no purpose or significance, that's okay. I want to know your honest opinions.
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6 comments:
There is no doctrine on it. Most days, to me, it's not a big deal anymore, having lost 3 of my own. I figure I'll have enough to do when I die whether I have them to raise or not. My oldest baby would have turned 7 in July. I was due on my dad's birthday. It helped at first to think that I could raise it. I look at Kelsie and I am not too worried about it. I know this is going to sound kind of weird, but I think that when we die and our memories are full again, that if we DON'T have the opportunity to raise them, that it won't matter to us. If that makes sense. I have thought about it alot over the years. I would have a 7,6,5,2-4yo, and then one that would be about to turn 3 in Oct. Where would Adam be? I would die without him. Literally, the kid can make anyone laugh. Even straight faced Kelsie isn't a match for him. At the time of the miscarriage before him there's was SO much going on in our families, it was a blessing to have miscarried and not had anything worse happen. Anyway, I think I gave you alot more information then you asked for.
I feel that life begins the moment you concieve. And I think that you will get to raise that child. I think that was a different spirit than Morgan's. It is alot to think about. I know alot of women that have went through something like this and I know it can't be easy.
I really don't know the answer to this question. I have never had a miscarriage myself, but my best friend has. It was definately painful for her - something I can't imagine. I think the fact that you wonder means you are a sweetheart who loves deeply. You should be proud of that!
Having had a couple of early miscarriages I too have wondered about this some. I do not feel connected to those pregnancies. I imagine if I had been further along I would have.
While there is no official doctrine on the subject I think there are two interesting supports, one for each side in the church. In line with the theory that we will not raise those children is the fact that only children who draw a breath after birth are officially sealed to you on your church records.
On the other hand, John the Baptist leapt within the womb when Mary pregnant with the Savior came near.
I don't really have an opinion either way. I think it is hard to imagine that women who have late miscarriages could be "restored to whole" without that child being restored to them. Maybe we will be pregnant in the millennium and let those children finish developing then. All I know is that the Lord will make it right in the end and sometimes the miscarriage is a blessing in disguise. I know at least one of mine definitely was.
Stephanie Waite
www.adailyscoop.blogspot.com
Well I haven't had a miscarriage to have these questions enter my mind. But reading your thoughts and curiousity has sparked a memory for me or more of an experience...My grandma had marshall and I go to the temple to seal her family. We were doing my great grandparents and then all the children. My great grandma had a few miscarriages. The sealer came in and was talking to us and I think she also had a still born. Anyway, he asked if all the children including still born have been accounted for. and My grandma asked what he meant? and the conversation got pretty deep. And for the sake of sacredness of the experience I will just say that the sealer said that miscarriages will be taken care of. That the lord will not forget them. But he never said we would rais them or the mothers would, but I assumed with how the conversation went that you would have your opportunity.
I'm not sure about your baby, sometimes we just don't know till we die, but I take comfort in knowing that god love us more than anything and I feel you will have the opportunity to raise that baby. Be it this life or the next. In respondse to your question on my blog, I got the Dracula Baby Pacifier at the Dan's Grocery store on Wasatch Blvd. above Skyline in their Halloween section. I love it!!
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